The Walking Dead Digest: Only the Stupid Survive

Rick Gun

(**spoiler alert – if you are not yet caught up on The Walking Dead, please avert your eyes**)

This week’s episode of The Walking Dead, “Crossed”, is rated S for survival and stupidity (mostly stupidity), so let’s get started…

**  Leaving Carl and Michonne behind to babysit Judith and that other, bigger baby (aka Father Gabriel), Rick and Co. roll into Atlanta on a mission to rescue Beth and Carol from Crazytown General. Rick maps out a pretty effective plan to overtake the hospital, one which involves throat slitting and gunfire.  Cool.  Bring it on.  But wait … Tyreese has a kinder, gentler plan that involves talking. And in the show’s most shocking moment, Daryl sides with Tyreese.

Rick Reaction

Yep.  Apparently, these people need to burn their fingers on the stove a few more times before they learn.  Until they do, looks like the Ricktatorship has been momentarily suspended and the Daryl-ocracy has taken over, so what could go wrong, right?

** Plenty.   The gang manages to nab three cops, one of whom tries to kill Daryl in the middle of a street full of napalmed walkers.  Rick rolls up to save the day and pulls his piece with the intention of next pulling the trigger.

Rick Gif

Not so fast, Ricker.  A clearly de-balled Daryl won’t allow it, reasoning that three hostages are better than two for negotiating purposes. Ummm…not when one of the three wants to kill you, but okay.  Rick’s gonna let it slide because now all three cops can be tied up and interrogated.  Surely, they’ll want to cooperate, right?

** …not so much. I mean, sure –one of them gets diarrhea of the mouth and starts talkin’ ’bout how they’re gettin’ real sick of Dawn’s s**t and all, but when one of them oh-so-helpfully explains how it can be done, the stench of bulls**t should be growing strong.  Ignoring the odor, Rick and Co. take off, leaving Sasha behind to babysit everyone.  Mr. Helpful sells her some sob story about a friend of his outside, now a walker, who needs to be euthanized.  At this point, the aroma of bulls**t should be overwhelmingly pungent, yet something must be off with Sasha’s sniffer because she falls for it, releases the guy, and then gets knocked out.  It’s official at this point…Rick is surrounded by idiots.  Speaking of which…

** Back at Crazytown General, it’s a damn good thing Beth isn’t at all worried that she’s being played by Dawn and Dr. Death when she’s given the key to the medicine cabinet and told to give a near-dead Carol a dose of epinephrine, you know, because they certainly wouldn’t lie to her and cause her to accidentally kill someone…

As for the rest of this episode – nothing but a bunch of boring stupidness: Father Gabriel ran away from Carl and Michonne (stupid); Glenn went fishing (boring); Tara found a yo-yo in a walker’s knapsack (boring and stupid); Eugene woke up (ugh…i can’t even); and wait … let me check…yep, Abraham is still a douchenozzle.  But over and above all the boring stuff and thangs, the most disturbing moment of the night didn’t even happen on-screen.  It was the realization that …wait for it … next week’s episode is the last until February…

Rick Crying GIF

Until next week, Dead-fans.  Don’t do anything stupid….

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One thought on “The Walking Dead Digest: Only the Stupid Survive

  1. Pingback: 'The Walking Dead': 7 Ways to Rejuvenate the Dull, Shambling Series – Viral Stories Storage

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