(**spoiler alert – if you are not yet caught up on The Walking Dead, please avert your eyes**)
The mid-season finale of “The Walking Dead” was a real mind-blower, boys and girls, so as usual, I’ll forego the recap and get to the good stuff …
** If we learned anything at all from last night’s episode, it’s that when Rick Grimes tells you to stop, whether it’s in the name of the law, in the name of love, or because it’s Hammer time, then you better just do it or he’s gonna start breaking s**t. Like your back. With a car. At high speed. At least that’s what Officer Lamson learned, but even a broken back couldn’t stop the fool from declaring Rick “crazy”. Rick’s response was a short and not so sweet bullet to Lamson’s head after which he awesomely told the dead man to “shut up”. And we all reacted accordingly ….
** Remember Father Gabriel?
Remember his brilliant escape from his own church and the folks trying to help him? Well, in his infinite capacity to be a complete and total f**ktard, he wound up leading an entire pack of walkers back to the church, where he inevitably returned to play out the last days of the parishioners he abandoned, screaming and clawing at the door, begging Carl and Michonne to let him in only to force an abandonment of the sanctuary lest they all be eaten by the zombie horde. Just when it looked like that last part was about to happen, Abraham rolls up and saves the day, finally giving me one reason to NOT completely despise him. And then there was much rejoicing in the land as part of the group was reunited and Maggie was told that her sister had been found at a hospital in Atlanta, which pretty much sealed Beth’s fate.
** Yep. We all knew it was going to happen, we just didn’t know how. And with the hostage exchange at the hospital having gone far too smoothly, it was only a matter of moments before the moronic melee began. First, Dawn demanded the return of Noah, and then Beth whipped out the stupid along with a pair of surgical scissors that she buried in Dawn’s….SHOULDER??? Not the throat or the eye or a major artery or really any location that would have done ACTUAL damage. Just the shoulder. And then Dawn “accidentally” fired her weapon. Into Beth’s head. At first we were all like ….
And then we were all like ….
And then Daryl walked out of the hospital carrying Beth’s lifeless body in his arms and we were all like…
Because if Daryl dies, we riot, but when Daryl cries, we all just get really, really sad and cry, too.
And that’s it for this half of the season! Until February …